Saturday, July 4, 2009

Hee Hees



If you think this to be an everyday domesticated cat enjoying a walk in the sun then you'd be wrong. It is in fact a Hee-Hee grinning evilly. Hee-Hees come from the planet Recalcitranton and are best described by what a small yellow winged cartoon character use to refer too as a “Naughty Puddy-tat”.

They travel in enormous metal trays filled quarter way with Recalcitranton’s foulest smelling soil. The tray is covered with a plastic dome made of what he Recalcitrantons call Purrs-pex which has a doorway which swings open and shut like that of an Earthly cat-door (though, again far removed from a Pandimensional doorway).

They are mischievous by nature and have been known to make surprise attacks on the Ageni Spugis and can be extremely dangerous when captured. Their appetite for flesh knows no bounds and claws are forever ready to inflict pain on their unsuspecting prey, which they lull into the sense of misguided trust. It is quite possible that Hee-Hees attracted by a misunderstaning of what the Milky Way had to offer have landed on Earth and even now pose as kittens for reasons known only by them. As a rule Hee-Hees torment their victims with high-pitched shrills but on earth they suffice with purring as to not risk exposing themselves as impostors.

My on board computer describes them as furry demonic vermin not to be trusted or underestimated. It also notes that unlike Cats who have nine lives, Hee-Hees have 81. The entry as to why this is the case has somehow been deleted. I have long suspected Hee-Hee mischief but I cannot be certain,