Text language sure is fun to suss out.
Shortly after writing "No Broom" I read the lord of the rings and was inspired to write another poem. However after so many attempts at perfecting "No Broom" I didn't have any paper left so best I could do was to use the cellhone I was given (See I told you I didn't need any inane attempt to help build a phone)
Sent the message off the the publishers but still awaiting a reply. See what you think.
Zarp Tangol's Txt Poem
D elfs r n d w%ds
W their capes n h%ds
d bait n bads n g%ds
n ll d shan'ts n sh%ds
D elfs av now lft de w%ds
hom 2 hng der h%ds
dey now no frm bads n g%ds
n of ll d shan’ts n sh%ds :)
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Fear Not the Men in black
It has been bought to my attention that there is secret Governmental Agency called the Men in Black. They apparently safeguard the public from anything that may suggest that humans have made contact with the ETs. Armed with forget-all-about-it zap guns they Swiss Cheese the brain of anyone who is willing to go public on the alien abduction front. Why bother? What possible benefits could your government have for keeping my visit a secret? Surly such an occurrence would be of interest to the general populous.
I've studied the case histories of the area 51 lunges. Rowel. Who in their right mind would like to land or even crash a spacecraft in such a mind numbingly boring desertless-hole of an area like that? And while I'm on the subject if, and that is of course a mighty big "if", a spacecraft did crash there what in the blistering blue blazers possessed the powers to take in a dead alien.
I mean come on. What where you guys thinking? To steal someone's space ship is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. And what about the creatures on board? As far as I can tell they weren't exactly given descent burials or anything. Travelling thousands of light-years just to visit this nothing planet in the middle of nowhere and how are they welcomed? Spaceship stolen bodies disecpted. Left or rot or whatever.
Anyway getting back to the MIB, well if I was you I'd take it all with a grain of salt. If they were real and had zapped people to stop them sharing their ET experiences then how would those people know the MIB ever visited by them? Perhaps even now they have intercepted this blog and tracking your computer. Chances are they'll probably drop in on you sometime with their memory altering pen flashes. Steer you away from this blog, make you forget everything that I have told you.
Maybe...maybe not.
I've studied the case histories of the area 51 lunges. Rowel. Who in their right mind would like to land or even crash a spacecraft in such a mind numbingly boring desertless-hole of an area like that? And while I'm on the subject if, and that is of course a mighty big "if", a spacecraft did crash there what in the blistering blue blazers possessed the powers to take in a dead alien.
I mean come on. What where you guys thinking? To steal someone's space ship is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. And what about the creatures on board? As far as I can tell they weren't exactly given descent burials or anything. Travelling thousands of light-years just to visit this nothing planet in the middle of nowhere and how are they welcomed? Spaceship stolen bodies disecpted. Left or rot or whatever.
Anyway getting back to the MIB, well if I was you I'd take it all with a grain of salt. If they were real and had zapped people to stop them sharing their ET experiences then how would those people know the MIB ever visited by them? Perhaps even now they have intercepted this blog and tracking your computer. Chances are they'll probably drop in on you sometime with their memory altering pen flashes. Steer you away from this blog, make you forget everything that I have told you.
Maybe...maybe not.
Never mind the yahoo babelfish
Zomulinatyrezap quarthomplo zdsaw usodusq...
ah, you probably have no idea what I am talking about do you...good. At least that means I am safe to talk candidly. You shouldn't bother wasting your time with the yahoo babelfish translator it won't do you any good. You see we (or should I say "I", now that I am no longer in the plural, not here any way) speak an entirely different dialect to you. Humans in all thier melting-pot togetherness seem to lack motivation for communicating with anyone other than themselves.
I have heard of a few exceptions, one being Doctor Do Little as Possible (or words to that extent). He tried to converse to the animals, but people thought him nutty as a Fruitcake, so it goes. The other was Wilbur who use to talk to a horse called Mister Ed.
Anyway I'm rambling on a bit. My name is...well probably best I don't give away too many details at first. After all...what was that? You think my name might be Zarp Tangol? What makes you...oh the title of the blog? Well it was really intended for another purpose but, what the hey, why not by jiggery-pockery, yeah you can call me Zarp Tangol you wish, or even Zarps. Actually that's not too much of a bad name. Zarps from Arch...oops, forgot the cautionaries.
Suffice to say I'm from what some may refer to as "Out There."
My arrival on this planet was no mistake, in fact I'm on a very important mission. But don't worry, no need for stereotyping. I don't require to be take to your leader, or aided to build some kooky interstella telephone so I can "phone home" like ET. I did not travel here in a round saucer like spaceship with flashing lights, or beam anyone aboard for subtle experiments. Truth is our leaders could not afford such technology. Most of the funding went into a governmental, consolidated slush fund. No, I came here via other means which I will eventually get around to explaining in the fullness of time.
I think there is some sort of Earthly expression that goes something like "I'll tell you when you get older".
But for now I'm just plain old Zarp. "Zarp from Out There". I'm sure we're going to get along like a planet on fire.
ah, you probably have no idea what I am talking about do you...good. At least that means I am safe to talk candidly. You shouldn't bother wasting your time with the yahoo babelfish translator it won't do you any good. You see we (or should I say "I", now that I am no longer in the plural, not here any way) speak an entirely different dialect to you. Humans in all thier melting-pot togetherness seem to lack motivation for communicating with anyone other than themselves.
I have heard of a few exceptions, one being Doctor Do Little as Possible (or words to that extent). He tried to converse to the animals, but people thought him nutty as a Fruitcake, so it goes. The other was Wilbur who use to talk to a horse called Mister Ed.
Anyway I'm rambling on a bit. My name is...well probably best I don't give away too many details at first. After all...what was that? You think my name might be Zarp Tangol? What makes you...oh the title of the blog? Well it was really intended for another purpose but, what the hey, why not by jiggery-pockery, yeah you can call me Zarp Tangol you wish, or even Zarps. Actually that's not too much of a bad name. Zarps from Arch...oops, forgot the cautionaries.
Suffice to say I'm from what some may refer to as "Out There."
My arrival on this planet was no mistake, in fact I'm on a very important mission. But don't worry, no need for stereotyping. I don't require to be take to your leader, or aided to build some kooky interstella telephone so I can "phone home" like ET. I did not travel here in a round saucer like spaceship with flashing lights, or beam anyone aboard for subtle experiments. Truth is our leaders could not afford such technology. Most of the funding went into a governmental, consolidated slush fund. No, I came here via other means which I will eventually get around to explaining in the fullness of time.
I think there is some sort of Earthly expression that goes something like "I'll tell you when you get older".
But for now I'm just plain old Zarp. "Zarp from Out There". I'm sure we're going to get along like a planet on fire.
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